THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

In Algebra class, my teacher Mrs. Purpura (purpura is apparently Spanish for purple :O) assigned us a paper explaining to 7th graders that would be taking our place in the 8th grade next year what the deal is. So here it is... my homework.

Victoria Forns :)

June 6, 2011

THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

Dear [INSERT CHILD’S NAME HERE],

I placed the word “Dear” in front of your name to indicate that this letter is indeed the guide to a personal feat for your young soul, and you are very close to my heart.

Just kidding.

I do hope you are intelligent enough to understand that although my words may be entirely to eloquent for your smallish brain to handle, my purpose was not to give you a headache; only a panic attack.

Just kidding.

Anywho, the purpose of this letter is not for me to have an outlet and be annoying, but to “educate” your young mind in the wonderful sparkling magic that is the Eighth Grade. (granted, I’m probably annoying you anyhow; nonetheless, I don’t really give half a noodle about your opinion. I am on a quest to teach you.)

Okely-dokely. Time to stop snickering to yourself and GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. :D

HOMEWORK. My greatest enemy; and soon to be yours too. (unless you’re a wonderful student with a great deal of glittering responsibility, in which case, be very proud of yourself even though I currently hate you.) “Homework is to be your top priority,” as said to me by- well, everyone. Although this bugs me, the phrase rings true. You’re gonna have a lot on your plate (and I don’t mean mashed potatoes), but it’s worth it. Encore’s 8th grade classes are working toward preparing you for high school.

Not only that, but be ready for a little writer’s cramp. If you don’t like taking notes, then it SUCKS TO BE YOU. You will have loads of notes in all of your classes; English Cornell Notes (“Ladies and gentlemen, get out your Cornell Notes please.” -Mr. Steed), Algebra notes, Key Terms in Science, Powerpoint notes, etc. Yeah it’ painful, but when you’re doing homework later you will say, “ohhhh, I forgot what to doooo! *light bulb flicks on* Oh, right! I took notes on dis!” and then you will rifle through your folder and use the found notes to not fail.

Have you ever stressed about a test? GOOD. That means you’re used to it. Well, now that I think about it, that’s not entirely true. We don’t have constant tests, but that means that when we do have tests, the pressure’s on to do your best. It’s a good thing, I promise. It will teach all sorts of skills that will be available in the future.

I have procrastinated on explaining this throughout these paragraphs, which was wrong of me. And so, I will now tell you in specifics what you should expect. In Algebra, expect the regular math homework (layout MUST have an answer key) , plus (as said before) notes in a layout with a Toolbox (for all of the info you want to keep in that noggin), a summary of what you learned today, a column for your assignment (in case you done forgot your agenda), bellwork (exercises for the noodle), and (of course) notes.

If you have Mr. Spinka (who I call Mr. Sprinkles[don’t take after me.. I don’t wanna be a bad influence]) for Science, expect reading of the chapter and then a beautiful ol’ section review, and on some days Key Terms, usually 25-50 at a time. If you have Ms. Jareno, expect plenty of experiments (labs), powerpoints, projects, notes, etc.

For U.S. History, you will have Ms. Ferrante (who is awesome as long as you don’t get on her bad side). In her class, you will have Chapter Packets (wondrous pages of work from a colored cover page, to powerpoint notes, to vocabulary, etc. But have no fear, child, for there is always a fun project to do on the side that not only tests your level in the study of our great nation’s history, but also your creativity.

And lastly, for English you will have Mr. Steed (be very afraid). The homework assignments are rather spontaneous; from a language root word dictionary, to reading and answering questions about the literature, to the dreaded essay. But there are always two things that are continuous: the vocabulary and the journal. I won’t be the one to explain what those are because he has more fun doing that himself. I’m not going to lie to you; Mr. Steed is terrifying, but in a good way. He won’t try to kill you, I promise.

And so, I conclude, and bid you adieu. Good luck, new eighth grader...

..you’re gonna need it.

With all due respect,

Victoria Forns :D

If you read that whole thing, I sincerely applaud you. Anywho, that's my theory on what MY school is like.

What's your theory?

New Light Bulb icon :)

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Amazing artist... check out her stuff. :D

How DO they get the jelly in the donut?

As dumb as it is, everyone has asked themselves this question at least ONCE in their lifetime. Humans, as a general rule of common psychology, have a certain nature. An impulse, if you will. This is called curiosity, and everyone has it. (And I swear to God, if you try to be a smart-ass tell me that you don't, I will know that you are lying and I will personally find your home address and knock on your door just so you will open it and I will SLAP YOU.)

Ahem. Anyway, consulting one of my best friends- The Webster's Comprehensive Dictionary published in1977- I found that the definition of "curiosity" had a much deeper meaning than just "killing the cat".

cu.ri.o.s.i.ty (kyoor'oe.os'e.te)- n. pl. .ties 1 Desire for knowledge of something. 2 Inquisitive interest in the private affairs of others. 3 An interesting or strange quality. 4 Any object adapted to excite interest or inquiry. 5 Obs. Fastidiousness; nicety. [ < style="font-style: italic;">curiositas, -tatis CURIOUS]

Pay close attention to definition No.1:

cu.ri.o.s.i.ty (kyoor'oe.os'e.te)- n. pl. .ties 1 Desire for knowledge of something. 2 Inquisitive interest in the private affairs of others. 3 An interesting or strange quality. 4 Any object adapted to excite interest or inquiry. 5 Obs. Fastidiousness; nicety. [ < style="font-style: italic;">curiositas, -tatis CURIOUS]

Curiosity is a big part of life in any human being. Which proposes my original question as to how they get the jelly in the donut.

And so, curious as I am, I did a little internet research (Not being one to trust internet information in situations when I'm not doing homework, I would have used my encyclopedia, but I disappointingly found out today that the word "donut" isn't in it. Sighhh...)

Here's what I found after typing "Jelly Donut" in the Google searchbox:

A link to a very racy website that I wish I had never clicked.
A link to a jelly doughnut cupcake recipe that I am glad I did click.
A link to a YouTube video of the Food Network's "How to make a Jelly Donut"
And multiple photos of jelly donuts.

So how do they do it?

When I typed "How do they get the jelly in the donut", I got a few Yahoo! Answers and Answers.com links that popped up.

It's injected using an icing bag, or similar type injector.

I don't know about you, but I am greatly disappointed. I would have been more interested in the answer had it been an interesting one, like that they plant magical jelly seeds in the donut and when its baking the seed grows in the heat and bursts, leaving jelly for those who want it.

Oh well. I guess I'll turn my attention to how they get the custard in a donut. :)

What's your theory?

How does a heart "break"?

I've heard one can die of a "broken heart". I've seen those who's hearts have been "broken". I, being still young and carefree, have never had to be subject to that kind of pain, because I haven't given my heart away to someone who just might "break" it. I refuse to lie awake at night for silly reasons that I myself have not come up with on my own- such as why computers work so slowly or what happens to lost things, or even why I can't seem to type the word "almost" without accidentally typing "almsot"- like love and the "breaking" of one's heart.

According to the International Edition of Webster's Comprehensive Dictionary published in 1977, the word "heart" has over 15 definitions (17, to be exact) ranging from anatomic structure, to affections and emotions, to cards. However, the word "heartbreak" has only one:


heart-break (hart'brak') n. Deep grief; over-whelming sorrow. --heart'-breaking adj. & n. --heart'-break'er n.


All of this brings my train of thought back to my original question:

How Does A Heart "Break"?

When asked (by me) how a heart "breaks", a woman in her mid-30's (my mom) replied:

"[Asked as a mother, it would be] loss of a child. As a wife, [it would be] loss of a husband."

When asked (by me) how a heart "breaks", a teenage boy (my brother) replied:

"The loss of someone very important to me."

When asked (by me) how a heart "breaks", a man in his mid-30's (my daddy) replied:

"As a father, it would break my heart to lose one of you guys. As a husband, it would break my heart to lose your mother. As a son, it would break my heart to lose either of my parents."

When asked (by myself) how a heart "breaks", a 13-year-old girl (myself) replied:


"Scientifically speaking, it is not possible to 'break' a heart. However, figuratively speaking, it is. It bothers me to think that in this generation, people so young, in their teenage years and childhood years who have no defenses of the heart, are slowly dying inside of 'broken' hearts. I have seen two hearts broken and, by extension, two lives shattered by 'broken hearts'- before my very eyes in only the past WEEK. And I have thought long and hard about this, only to come to the conclusion that a 'heart' is not what it seems. It is not just a vital organ of the human body, but a complex part of the human mind- a happiness, or a certain joy with the power to kill...

.. figuratively speaking, of course."


What's your theory?

When you can't find things, where do they go?

It's a valid question. Say you can't find a pin, or your other sock, or a shirt, or even a pencil you know you had just set down but don't remember where...

Where does it go??

Not only that, but what is it thinking as it's there? Is it laughing at you silently as you search for it like a psycho? Is it sad and alone in a scary place it hasn't been before, wishing it was with you, serving its true purpose? These questions haunt me.

Now just think:

What if you were a sock that your owner had set out the night before to wear the next day, and you were just sitting happily where you had been laid out with the other sock, and suddenly, POOF! You just go missing!


And that's another thing that bothers me. Where do missing things go when you can't find them? When you know you had just set them down on the bookshelf or the table yesterday or the night before; wishing you had kept better track, and now you are searching everywhere you can think and retracing your steps just to find that one thing you need at this very moment?..

What's your theory?

Why do computers take so long to work?

Why do computers take forever to work? Personally(and this is just a theory), I think that there are tiny elves living in the computer towers. And the computer towers are hotels for these elves, and they have a bunch of tiny little rooms, and the little holes in the computer tower are windows. And when the hotel is low on staff or is having a slow customer day, the computer just happens to work slower. And then, when you get impatient and smack the side of the tower or the screen, they get all pissed off and work even slower, just cuz they don't like you.




What's your theory?